Sunday, December 11, 2011

Double Standards - On My Last Nerve

Since the dawn of time there have been expected behaviors from the two sexes. When you get down to it, it's basically society expecting the genders to be equal and to be treated as such. The sad fact is, it's just not ever gonna happen. Things that society accepts as "guy things" and "girl things" proves this. Too often, however, the men or women complaining about these double standards, are focusing it on the opposite sex as if it's undeniably their fault

All these facts get on my nerves and I've now decided to get it off my chest. This is going to be partially tongue-in-cheek, partially way too riled up and partially giving the appearance of a meltdown. It's virtually guaranteed to offend someone so I hereby state that if you're easily offended, you may wanna buy some materials, build a bridge and get over it. You've been warned.

The term "Double Standard" is defined as "the unjust application of different sets of principles for similar situations". In other words, expecting equal views and treatment between the sexes, races and cultures just because they "said so"! Below are some of the ones I've thought of over time, jotted down and am no going to bitch, whine and moan about. They are in no particular order...just in the order that I thought of them over time.

Battered Women/Men: This one is sort of a two-parter. First, it's no secret that violence against women by men far outweigh violence against men by women, but it's how the battered people are treated that gets on my last nerve. If it's a battered woman, they often hear, "Why don't you just pack your shit and get out?!?" Gee. I bet that never once occurred to them! Unless you've been battered or know someone who has, keep your worthless advice to yourself! Being abused is not just a physical act. It's basically a breaking down of one's esteem and self worth. They not only fear their abuser but often fear they have "nowhere to go". It's a very real fear and, sadly, often justified.

The double standard comes in when it's a man that's being battered. It happens, folks! The numbers are skewed into the unknown by the sheer numbers of men too embarrassed to admit it. Their embarrassment is exacerbated by the way society treats them if their painful secret gets out. They're treated as if they're such utter and complete wusses, so that they likely deserved it. Unacceptable!

Sexual Mutilation: This one has bothered me for eons. It came to a head when the now infamous Bobbitt case happened back in June of 1993. It wasn't so much what this woman did, but the unwavering and countless conversations I overheard over the next few months that became (seemingly) perfectly acceptable. Even before all of the facts were released, women everywhere were steadily joking about slicing off the manhood of every guy that even remotely annoyed them. No one even batted an eye when they were carrying on like this. Merchandise even came out referencing it!

Imagine the roles reversed. Let's say Ms Bobbitt (now Ms. Gallo) had abused John Bobbitt throughout their marriage. Let's say he got fed up with it and grabbed a pair of scissors and cut off her nipples as she slept. The public outcry and condemnation would be on a biblical scale! Quick Fact: Lorena Bobbitt was previously prosecuted (by the same prosecutor that later prosecuted John Bobbitt) for attacking him! Furthermore, in December of 1997, she was charged with assault after punching her own mother as she watched television.

Infidelity: This is another one that irks me to no end. You've heard and read psychologists, laymen and all sorts of idiots in between claim, "Men cheat for physical reasons. Women cheat for emotional reasons". BULLSHIT! Maybe this was true back in their days when the world was still in black and white and people still "socked" someone when they were "sore" at them, but since then? Puh-LEEZE!

There's 3 types of cheating, in my opinion: 1) Cheating that "just happened". Meaning the kind of situation where two people may have been drinking and are laughing and carrying on and then suddenly, "Holy shit! Did we just kiss!?!?" 2) Cheating that is basically fulfilling a fantasy between two people where at least one of them always wondered what it would be like and/or pictured the other's face while having sex with their significant other. This can also include or be seen as what "experts" think are "emotional reasons". People feeling that there's something missing at home. 3) Your dick is hard/your pussy is tingling and you have simply got to get some relief! "It seemed normal at the time!" This last kind is where you suddenly try to justify what was supposedly "missing in your life" but not until after you got your rocks off!

The fact is that both men and women can feel emotionally abandoned in a stagnant relationship. Men and women can make a sudden, unintended mistake and both men and women can think with their naughty no-no parts and get 'em some! Period! This is not a gender thing. It's a (flawed) human thing!

Sex Toys: This one's kinda funny more than anything but nonetheless true. Have ya noticed how common it is you can overhear (or read) two or more adult women talking about "B.O.B."? How many toys they have? The rabbits, foot-longs, double-headed, suction-cupped. metal, veiny, rubber, silicone, spiked, ribbed, motorized, life-like aka "Who needs a man!" collections they talk about?  Now have ya noticed how ya barely even bat an eye when they do?

Reverse the roles again. How many of you would give a guy absolute hell (or have been the guy that got found out)...who's had a fleshlight, a sex doll, a prostate massager, a penis pump...anything? That guy is automatically seen as a loser, likely a virgin, banished from the loins of any self-respecting woman for the rest of his life and likely to cause him life-altering embarrassment. What the fuck is up with that? A woman can put anything that fits inside of her, inside of her and get off 'til the cows come home but the second a guy fashions something remotely warm or tight, he's a complete and utter pervert loser! Hide your fresh produce! Don't even get me started on the half-assed attempts that have even been made in the industry...for men's satisfaction.

Experimenting (Sexually): Otherwise known as bicuriosity. This one more bothers me in theory than anything else but I have noticed it. A girl can talk about having kissed girls in college, tried wrestling with her bff naked when she was 17, preferring girl-girl-guy threesomes, etc....and it's heard, acknowledged and moved past. Period. Katy Perry got on the map singing a song about it for fuck's sake!

Now, back to role-reversals. Imagine finding out your buddy Jake went Brokeback Mountain for a night back in '93 with a hairless fellow named Terrence. It was just for one night. He was drunk. It was dark. Terrence made him feel attractive. Terrence gave amazing You see my point?

Choosing To Stay Single: This one is fairly new both in the world and on my list of irks. Studies (that I can't be bothered to look for now) show that more and more women are choosing to stay single and concentrate on their careers, etc. Long story short, they're empowering themselves...prioritizing and taking control of their futures.

A guy does this? That son of a bitch is a player! He fears commitment! He just wants another notch in his bedpost!! Makes me wanna slap someone 'til they pee a little!

Strip Clubs: This one isn't major and won't be long-winded because, quite frankly, I haven't lived near any for many, many years and couldn't really justify the expense very often when I did. This one has to do with the common belief that men go to hang out at strip clubs because they're cheating, horny, wild heathens. On TV and movies you see them hootin' and hollerin' and raising hell and giving men everywhere a bad name. Reality? Every single time I've ever been to a strip club, the DJ had to all but bribe and beg the guys in the audience to make some fucking noise! Contradicting the media much? It's true! Most guys, if they're in a strip club, are there because they get to see naked women. They get to see naked women without having to work for it. They get to see naked women, without having to work for it and they don't get told to go do or fix something. It's little more than a guy just "getting away from it all". Guys are known to be more of a visual creature than women. Simple as that. Anything else you've heard or believed, is likely just plain wrong.

Now, my female readers will have to correct me if I'm wrong here but, any time I've seen footage, photographs, etc of women in strip clubs, albeit far less often than men, they are losing their fucking minds! They're also doing much, MUCH more touching! (and I ain't talkin' touching his shoulders either) In so-called gentleman's clubs, touching one of the dancers can, and will, get you kicked straight to the curb unless that dancer chose to let you. It is severely frowned upon in most clubs. Not so much in the male stripper domain. I've also seen many interviews with female dancers who claim that it's women who get on their nerves at gentleman's clubs. Not men! Why? Because women seem to think that because they are women, that the rules don't apply to them and they can grab, fondle and harass without abandon. WRONG!

Domestic Violence: This one is a more touchy subject but is being brought up for two reasons. 1) How I was brought up and 2) A disturbing trend I've noticed. When I was growing up...okay....getting didn't hit women...PERIOD! No reason was good enough...PERIOD! "But she..."...PERIOD! The disturbing trend I've noticed is actually two trends: 2a) Women starting physical fights with guys and 2b) Guys starting fights with or retaliating quicker, with women.

I don't know if it's an Internet thing, a generational thing, an evolution thing or what but, in my day, ya just didn't do it. I'm prepared to say that this gave women free reign to be absolute holy terrors and that some of 'em clearly "asked for it" but it took a low-down loser to take 'em up on it. If Youtube and WorldStarHipHop both banned fight videos, they would plummet in viewership. I dare say that the latter only became known because of fight vids and most-assuredly not their hip hop videos.

Lastly, I've always thought trying to solve anything with fists was the coward's way out and that it takes far more guts to actually talk, but I digress. As far as female-on-male violence, my ex-sister-in-law...yes...a female...put it best and now sums up my opinion on it; "When a woman hits a man, she just put herself in a man's place!" A-fricking-MEN, sister!

On that note, until next time, my friends... 

I have implemented a new commenting system. Sadly, in doing so, I inadvertently lost all comments made prior to December 28, 2011. My deepest apologies to those this adversely affected. If it's any consolation, it makes my blog here look pretty darn unvisited over the years.
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